At a recent retreat in the Reform party bunker, encased in concrete miles below the Minnesota governor's mansion, Pat Buchanan, Ross Perot, Donald Trump, and Jesse Ventura articulate a secret platform…
My buildings are the best, the tallest, the most successful-but when they fail, millions of people will be devastated. We will withdraw from all United Nations and global organizations that do not serve US interests until Chico wishes he was back selling tacos in Tijuana now! You think Bush could have made billions of dollars in profits off of real estate in a national campaign of assimilation to teach newly adopted Americans our culture, history, traditions, English language to become a single parent? Is it government's job to make someone's mistakes to become a double-D bra?
Every day somebody wins and somebody loses. In business they don't hand out red ribbons when you lose. They hand out pink slips, they close our independence. The only strategy is, I'll be on television a lot. I'll be expressing my views so that our sovereignty erodes. If Native Americans really wanted to enforce the use of the treaties they ought to be in birch bark canoes instead of 200-horsepower Yamaha engines with fish finders. Don't they realize that the biogenetics industry is the result of our federally funded, foolhardy interventionists who are the owners of this country?
I don't want to sound hard-core, but why are people watching me when they don't watch other people on television? The elitist architects of GATT and NAFTA returned to their carriers from bombing Pearl Harbor, as the wrestler, the Junk Yard Dog, did a lot of shuckin' and jivin'. Over and over they use me to announce they're going to discuss presidential politics. The time has come to wake up and realize that other nations do not believe in our brand of free trade. While we merrily open our CNN for a whole hour, they kept announcing our country's problems and put it on the right path. My first priority: To repeal the tax on jet skis. I'm the biggest foreign country to rip off the United States, to support a trade policy with their gubernatorial transition. It's a wonderful way of buying access without losing a dime. So how come no one's clapping?
